Is Your Partner Too Busy For a Relationship?
This question comes from one of our readers named Grace. She asked:
“Have you ever felt like one of you were more into the relationship than the other? Also, how do you deal with one person in the relationship being really busy at a certain time and not being on the same schedule?”
We also had another reader named Molly send in a similar question saying:
“How do you cope with your partner always being busy while you are never busy? My long distance partner seems too busy for a relationship and I’m never busy. It’s really hard for me because I have all the time to just sit and miss him while he is keeping himself busy. So, my question is, how do you deal with your partner being busy almost all the time?”
It’s completely normal for long distance couples to be unsure of what their partner is going through. At the end of the day, you’re miles apart from one another, so you don’t exactly know their everyday schedules! It’s completely normal if you don’t talk to your partner for 24 hours out of the day… It doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you! So, if you’re having any doubts, or you don’t know how to handle the current situation, then keep on reading!
Here are some tips on how to deal with having a busy partner!
1. Make your own plans
Sometimes it’s hard to stay motivated when you’re away from your partner… It’s impossible not to miss them! However, if you keep yourself busy, chances are you won’t be as bored, and you won’t feel as lonely. Plus, it definitely helps to pass the time quicker! So, make sure to set up some plans for yourself! Whether you make plans to go out with friends, or to just take your dog on a walk, it’s important to keep yourself busy. It’ll make your time apart so much easier – trust me!
2. Be honest
One of the worst things you can do is bottle up your emotions. If you feel as if your partner is too busy for you, then you need to tell them. Don’t just gossip to your friends and leave your partner in the dark. There’s a huge chance that they don’t even realize that they’re being a bit distant! Of course, some things can’t change… For example, it may be their work hours that takes up most of their time. However, they may be able to change some of their other activities. Perhaps they can move their gym hours back a little earlier or later, and instead, they can use that time for you. When there’s a will, there’s a way!
Following up from the last tip, the best thing you can do is understand. Understand that your partner can’t just drop work. It’s extremely important for you to realize that they have other priorities. Most of the time, they’re not choosing to ignore you and they’re not intentionally trying to avoid talking to you. At the end of the day, they’re your girlfriend / boyfriend – they care about you and your feelings. So, try to be as understanding as you can.
4. Use your time wisely
If your partner is frequently busy, try and use your free time to the best of your ability. If you know their schedule, try and work around it to figure out the next time you can visit them, or when they can visit you. You can also use that time to get some other things done, too. There are 24 hours in a day. Think about something you’ve always wanted to do, and do it! You may want to learn a new language, or even go and work more hours. Don’t waste time sitting around waiting for them to reply!
5. Keep connected
Just because your partner is busy, that doesn’t mean they can’t make any time for you. A quick phone call, or a text doesn’t require much effort on their end. Ask them what time they have a break and communicate with them then. Even if it’s 3-5 minutes, that’ll still make you feel happy and more at ease! (If they refuse to do any of the suggested tips above, that’s when there’s a deeper problem.) No one is ever too busy. There is no excuse as to why they can’t make a quick phone call or send you a quick text, so just remember that!
6. Enjoy your alone time
Okay, to be honest, it’s not super easy to do this. I for one don’t really enjoy being alone… However, it’s important to take some time for yourself! Watch a movie, write in your journal, or take a long bath! Taking time for yourself is extremely healthy and could be very relaxing. Also, I know I say ‘enjoy your alone time’, however, that doesn’t include pets. Pets make us happy, so let them join in on our ‘alone’ time! You’re guaranteed to smile!
Those were some tips on how to handle a busy partner!
Next time you think your partner is too busy for a relationship, try applying these tips. Chances are they will help you feel closer to him or her. Just remember to talk it out and tell your partner how you really feel! Good luck!
If you have any more questions, then feel free to send them to us by clicking here.