Long distance relationships are no easy feat. When first starting one, you’ve probably found yourself googling “how to do long distance relationship” or “how to make long distance relationship work”… These types of relationships require consistency, trust, and utmost love for it to survive the distance and stand the test of time. If you finally found someone worth holding on to, then the distance shouldn’t be a hindrance to making things work! We have compiled a list of advice from experts on how to do long distance relationships.
All types of relationships have their own share of problems, and long distance relationships are no exception. For a long distance relationship to work, the couple must invest time, energy, and commitment so that the relationship may flourish. Here’s some top advice on how to do long distance relationship: according to a therapist!
Advice on How to Do Long Distance Relationship
Maintain Communication to Stay Connected
Therapists recommend open and honest communication to stay connected. This means being able to express your thoughts and emotions in the most accurate way possible. It may be tempting to play mind games or misconstrue your words because you are not used to telling the truth about how you feel, but those things can be harmful to your relationship in the long run.
We live in an era where it is so easy to stay connected at all times. Thankfully, we have our phones, the internet, and various social media applications, so we can easily send a message and the other will be notified. But constant communication may also be too much for certain couples. You and your partner will need to figure out what works best for you. There is no shame in admitting if staying connected 24/7 is exhausting for you, especially if you have a job and other time-consuming commitments. You need to figure out which frequency works best for you and your partner… The last thing you want is to overdo the communication, so find what works. You may agree on updating every few hours and a video call at least once a day.
Be There for Your Partner
This may be a confusing concept since long distance relationships mean that you cannot physically be “there” at a moment’s notice, but there are ways to be emotionally available, especially during times of need. Research shows that successful relationships are founded on the couple’s ability to respond to each other’s emotional calls.
Emotional calls are defined as the couple’s attempts to connect with each other. These can manifest in the form of attempts to get empathy, affection, attention, affirmation, and other emotional needs. It may be difficult to respond to every emotional call since you live so far away, but there are ways to reassure your partner. For example, you may do so by prioritizing your weekly video calls in the same way you would prioritize a work call or a medical appointment.
If you sense your partner is nervous about an upcoming event, console them by reassuring them that they will do just fine. Wish your partner luck and throw in some words of affirmation before a big presentation at work. Ask them about how their day went. All of these examples demonstrate that you are an emotionally available and invested person that your partner can lean on in times of need!
Constant Reminder of Love
Couples in long distance relationships often fall victims to jealousy, insecurities, and doubts. These are natural emotions to feel especially if you do not have the constant reassurance of physically being together. These negative emotions can be dispelled with words of affirmation and assurance. For starters, express constant reminders of the things you love about your relationship.
Make your partner feel valued and cherished by verbally appreciating your relationship! If you are the one who is feeling these negative emotions, then you can ask your partner for reassurance. Reminding them how much you love and miss them will make them feel good – and when they return the words, you’ll feel great, too!
Foster an Attachment Based on Support
You and your partner will continue to grow and evolve on your own terms, whether you are physically together or doing long distance. This is a perfectly normal occurrence because human beings are designed as such – we grow and change as we take up new interests, experience new things, and learn more about the world around us.
For any long distance relationship to last, the couple must be able to keep up with these changes and adapt accordingly. Foster an attachment based on support for your partner’s interests and hobbies. This will allow you to form more mutual grounds of interest so that the two of you will stay connected. This further leads to security and safety in the relationship – the idea that your partner knows you so well and he/she is well-attuned with the things you are passionate about, and vice versa.
You can start by reading your partner’s favorite book or watching a series together. You may also express support for whatever they feel passionate about, whether it is a humanitarian cause or a business they are trying to kick off the ground. Tag along their journey of growth so that you may grow together. Inspire your partner and encourage them in their pursuits. In this way, you will grow together instead of apart.
Have Long Distance Dates
The distance between you and your partner shouldn’t stop you from finding ways to hang out! The healthiest relationships are comprised of individuals who have their own lives yet still find ways to bond amidst it all. Keep this in mind as you find date options for you and your partner. You do not need to take up most of their time and if your partner is being too controlling of the way you spend yours, then that is probably not a good sign.
There are plenty of activities that you can do together while being in a remote setting. These activities may include reading the same book, streaming a movie or TV series together, playing online games, or even eating at the exact same restaurant while video chatting. These activities should help you and your partner stay connected more than ever. The activities give you some things to talk about while giving you the opportunity to catch up.
Learn the Healthy Ways to Address Issues
All couples experience problems at one point in their relationships. Friction is normal since there may be some disagreements on certain matters. What is important is learning about the healthy way to deal with these issues. It may be tempting to sweep everything under the rug and just let things pass, but you’ll find that these repressed emotions will eventually spill over. Some may even result in subconscious resentment for your partner. It is important to address these issues within a reasonable timeframe of their occurrence so that the two of you may learn from them and foster a healthier relationship moving forward.
Find a time to talk about the problem. Be as honest as you possibly can. If it is your partner who raised a concern, make sure to keep your mind and heart open. Be open to the possibility that some mistakes may be accidental and that they can be remedied.
There is no fixed rulebook on how to tackle relationship problems. You and your partner would have to figure out the system that works best for you.
Look At the Positive Parts
Being in a long distance relationship where you cannot physically be with your partner all the time may be hard to appreciate. But there is not much you can do about the situation in the immediate future. The best you can do is to change your outlook on things.
Some couples even claim that being in a long distance relationship is the best setup for them. When they are apart, they can focus on their individual growth. Then they can shower each other with love and affection when they do see each other. This just goes to show that with a little appreciation, you can learn to value your relationship instead of feeling sad or lonely all the time.
Start by making a list of the positive aspects of your long distance relationship. One example is that you will have more time and energy for school or work. Another is that it ensures that every moment spent together is cherished and precious! Always find the positives in everything.
Create Long-Term Plans When the Time Comes
Every couple in a long distance relationship can sympathize with the fact that keeping up with the heartache indefinitely is not the way to go. Eventually, you will have the chance to make plans that will allow your worlds to merge. These plans may include an engagement, a wedding, or even a job relocation.
Make sure that these plans are discussed and agreed upon by you and your partner. These plans give hope that the long distance setting is just temporary – one day, the two of you will be together for good.
Conclusion of How to Do Long Distance Relationship
That was some advice on how to do long distance relationship! Still unsure of how to do long distance relationship? We have tons of tips on how to make long distance relationship work, so make sure to check out our other blogs! Thank you so much for reading this blog… If you have any other questions, message us on Instagram @LongDistanceRelationshipsBlog and we’ll do our best to help!