A question we get asked a lot is 'what do I do if my boyfriend or girlfriend seems too busy for a relationship?'
This question comes from one of our readers named Grace. She asked:
“Have you ever felt like one of you were more into the relationship than the other? Also, how do you deal with one person in the relationship being really busy at a certain time and not being on the same schedule?”
We also had another reader named Molly send this in:
“How do you cope with your partner always being busy while you are never busy.
My long distance partner seems too busy for a relationship and I’m never busy. It’s really hard for me because I have all the time to just sit and miss him while he is keeping himself busy. So, my question is, how do you deal with your partner being busy almost all the time?”
It’s obvious that many LDR couples are going through the same struggles. So, to help out, here are some of our top tips on handling a busy partner.
1. Make your own plans
Sometimes it’s hard to stay motivated when you’re away from your partner… However, if you keep yourself busy, chances are you won’t be bored and it definitely helps to pass the time quicker! So, make some plans with friends, go hiking, whatever you enjoy doing – do it!
2. Be honest
The worst thing you can do is bottle up your emotions. If you feel as if your partner is too busy for you, tell them. Don’t gossip to your friends and leave your partner in the dark. There’s a big chance they don’t even realize that they’re being a bit distant because of their schedule! Of course, some things can’t change – for example, their work hours, but maybe they can change some of their other activities – Perhaps they can move their gym hours back a little earlier or later and use that time for you. When there’s a will, there’s a way!
Following up from the last tip, the best thing you can do is understand. Understand that your partner can’t just drop work. It’s extremely important for you to realize that they have other priorities. Most of the time, they’re not choosing to ignore you or intentionally avoid talking to you. At the end of the day, they’re your girlfriend / boyfriend – they care about you and your feelings. So, try to be as understanding as you can.
4. Use your time wisely
If your partner is frequently busy, try and use your free time to the best of your ability. If you know their schedule, try and work around it to figure out the next time you can visit them or when they can visit you. You can also use that time to get some other things done, too.
5. Keep connected
Just because your partner is busy, that doesn’t mean they can’t make any time at all for you. A quick phone call, or a text doesn’t require much effort on their end. Ask them what time they have a break and communicate with them then. Even if it’s 3-5 minutes, that’ll still make you feel happy and more at ease! (If they refuse to do any of the suggested tips above, that’s when there’s a deeper problem.)
6. Enjoy your alone time
Okay, to be honest, it’s not super easy to do this. I for one don’t really enjoy being alone… However, it’s important to take some time for yourself! Watch a movie, write in your journal, or take a long bath! Taking time for yourself is extremely healthy and could be very relaxing.
Those are some tips on how to handle a busy partner!
Next time you think your partner is too busy for a relationship, try applying these tips. Chances are they will help you feel closer to him or her. Just remember to talk it out and tell your partner how you really feel! Good luck!
If you have any more questions, then send them here.