I've received endless emails with the same question... "What do I do if my parents don't approve of my long distance relationship?"
This isn’t an easy question to answer. Unfortunately, sometimes parents don’t understand what a LDR is. At the end of the day, when someone says they’re dating someone from a different state, country, wherever – it’s not the easiest news to process, especially for a parent! If you’re someone who reached out to this site and said, ‘Help! My parents don’t approve of my long distance relationship’ – then this post is for you!
Here are two examples of emails I've received...
1. “My boyfriend lives in NJ, and I live in Alabama… How do I cope with the struggles of my parents not accepting him and I? With my parents not accepting my relationship and them having taken all my electronics away, part of me believes the relationship will fade out or not be worth it.”
2. “I’m facing a problem… My better half wants to break up because she said “my parents don’t approve of my long distance relationship.” How can I convince her not to?”
So, without further ado, here is some advice on how to handle this situation.
Tell your parents how you feel
Obviously, no one is going to be happy that their parents don’t approve of their relationship. So, it’s important to tell your parents how that makes you feel. Be honest with them – tell them how much you care about your partner, and why you want to pursue your LDR. Explain to them that long distance relationships CAN work! (Check out our LDR Love Stories tab for proof!)
Listen to what they have to say
As much as you won’t want to, listen to what your parents have to say. They might have some good points! For example, if you’re young, and you’ve been talking to someone from another country, they might not want you to go visit them, or they think it’s too unsafe. In all fairness, they might be right. If you’re under the age of 18, and have been talking to someone who refuses to video-chat, or have phone calls, then maybe it’s not the best idea for you to go fly alone to see them. You want to make sure that you really know who you’re talking to first. At the end of the day, your parents are only looking out for you, and don’t want you to get hurt. So, listen to what they have to say and take it into consideration.
Listen to your heart
Now, if your gut is telling you that your partner is definitely the one, and that you can make your relationship work no matter who supports it, then just go for it! You don’t need everyone you know to support your decisions. If you’re an adult, you’re old enough to make your own choices. So, although the previous point said to listen to what your parents have to say, you also don’t have to listen to what they say – Just make sure to her them out first… Again, this goes for if you’re over the age of 18.
Lay out your finances to them
A major reason that parents don’t support their kids being in a long distance relationship is because of financial reasons. Traveling back and forth to see your partner could get pretty expensive, trust me – I know that first hand! Write out a list of how you will be able to afford your relationship. This will ease your parents minds, and in the end, will even help you! Both of you will feel more comfortable with the whole situation. (For advice on how to afford a long distance relationship, click here!)
Understand the sacrifices
Depending on how accepting your parents are, sometimes you will have to make sacrifices. If your parents are that unhappy that you are in a LDR, and are refusing to approve, then you need to make a tough choice. Is your partner worth the resentment that your parents may have? There’s no correct answer here – it’s just what you are willing to give up. Regardless, we hope your decision makes you happy!
For those of you who asked, “what do I do if my parents don’t approve of my long distance relationship”, I hope you were able to gain some insight from this blog…
Thank you to everyone who sent emails asking for advice. It must’ve been hard to open up like that!
I’d personally like to say that I’m sorry if your parents don’t agree with your LDR – I can’t imagine how that must make you feel… Please, if you ever need any more advice, visit my contact page!